Wednesday, November 08, 2006

If only I could get away with answers like these. :o)

My aunt just sent these to me. I read them to my roommate and we couldn't stop laughing. :o)
Have a great day!!!

Subject: Children’s science exam
Exam Answers.
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A: Premature death.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean? (I do love this one...)
A: Nearby.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.
Q: What does the word " benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

3 comments:

jenylu said...

Very funny! :)

Michelle produced some funny answers of her own this summer filling out her customs form before entering Ecuador. (I should ask her to define some of those words like varicose, steroids & benign.)

Country: Santa Rosa
Occupation: Kid

J Crew said...

That is hilarious. I especially like the steroids, seasons and what happens when you get old

SJ said...

These were great! The "fibula" is a good one :) I have a few kiddos that tell "fibulas"