Sunday, April 24, 2016

Dependence on God

       Last week I started taking a Proverbs31 Online Bible Study. It's on a book called 5 Habits of a Woman Who Doesn't Quit. So far I'm failing because I haven't been keeping up with it. This is an area I struggle with so much. I get myself all pumped about a new Bible study or devotional book and then I get so busy that by the time I get home I'm drained and sit on the couch and veg, ignoring what I should be doing. Just by the title of this study I know I need it...badly. So tonight I've been looking over the blog posts from this first week of the study. This quote really stood out to me. And it reminds me that I really do need to read the chapters in the book because I think I'll really benefit from them.
       I'm thankful that in my life the desperate situations have caused me to turn to God.  I haven't had a lot of huge desperate situations, but I've had a fair share of small ones. I'm not sure if I'm making sense. I feel like you can have a desperate situation that isn't life altering, but still causes you to feel desperate and need help. Something that you realize you can't do on your own, sometimes it makes you panic, you feel hopeless, and so confused about what is going on.
       The problem I have in one desperate situation in particular is that I'll struggle and struggle with it for a period of time, I'll seek the Lord and feel comforted, get my focus on Him and soon after I'll forget about it. And then a few months later it will pop up again. I'll depend on God so much during that time and then I'll go back to doing it my way, depending on myself or flat out ignoring the problem I have.
      Clearly that does not work well.
       I wish ignoring it would make it go away. Life would be so much better. I know, I know, but then I wouldn't be depending on God. Which is what He wants me to do.
       So, the only solution I can come up with is to depend on God. I need to be in His Word continually. I need to be praying regularly about this issue that keeps coming up. I need accountability to get through this. Someone to check to see how I'm doing so that I don't just ignore the issue and hope it doesn't come up again.
       The chorus to one of my favorite worship songs comes to mind. "Lord, I need You. Oh, I need You. Every hour I need You." It's true I really can't make it through this crazy life on my own.

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