I'm not sure if it was in a choir or a special song with my family, but this morning I'm reminded of a song that I feel hits close to home right now in my life.
"He's still working on me
To make me what I need to be
It took him just a week to make the moon and stars
The sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars
How loving and patient He must be
'Cause He's still workin' on me"
I'm so glad that the Lord is so patient and loving with me. So many things that I fear and struggle with I know are ridiculous but God is patiently growing me to who He wants me to be. Just this week I've noticed how I've grown in the last few years. Last night at a basketball game I went out and shot a free throw during half time. (People put names in a hat when they buy things from the snack bar and during half time those names get drawn and they can win things from the snack bar) Since I moved here every game I've gone to I've left the gym during half time due to fear of my name being drawn. Last night I didn't run away. I walked out there, took my shot, missed, and walked off the court not feeling embarrassed at all.
I realize this might not feel like a big deal to many people, but to me it is. I was kinda proud of myself.
I've noticed recently that I've grown a lot in my confidence. I'm worrying less about what others think and because of that life is much more enjoyable. Don't get me wrong there are still moments of feeling self-conscious. I'm just saying it isn't happening all the time.
In my growing self-confidence I'm growing louder. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not. A few people have teased me recently about how loud I am. It didn't upset me or anything, just made me think. When I lived in California I was loud and social, but only with certain people. Since moving to Wisconsin it happens a lot more often.
Now, if only I'd feel less nervous around single guys my age. But if God has gotten me this far I know He'll get me there too. He's still workin' on me!