Feeling Refreshed and Ready to Go!

Can I just tell you that I am so extremely thankful that we have Thanksgiving break every year?! This year especially I needed the 3 extra days off of school. There was the temptation to complain because so many other schools had the entire week off, but I chose to be thankful for the 3 days off. And oh boy am I thankful!

Before the break there was one word to describe how I was feeling all the time.

T-I-R-E-D

I was constantly feeling tired. And feeling that way all the time was making me feel short tempered, anxious, sad, discouraged...you get the idea.

One of the discouraging things lately has been teaching. My class this year is much harder than the class I had last year. I really shouldn't compare them to previous groups, but they really are night and day. I've come to realize that because of the easier class last year I have become lazy in my teaching. I'm embarrassed to say that many of my lessons were me in front of my class flying by the seat of my pants. My college professors would be mortified. Who am I kidding! I'm mortified typing it!
Over the break I came to the understanding (with myself) that I need to plan better for this class. I know that they have been learning new things this year, but I also know that I have not been giving them my best. So Sunday afternoon I spent about an hour at school planning. I planned out this week and got some of the planning done for the upcoming weeks before Christmas. It felt so good to get that done/started! It gave me an excitement for the lessons coming up. And I feel like as a class we are going to be much more productive.

I'm so thankful for the short break that really helped me feel refreshed and ready to tackle the last few weeks before Christmas break. These next few weeks are going to FLY! And I'm gearing up for the craziness that is coming very quickly. It will all be good things, but you know how it goes. December is busy busy busy.

Blessing

This was a rough week for me. I was super emotional, down, and just generally in a funk all week long. To say I'm happy the weekend is here is an understatement. But I also had this sweet little blessing today. A few of my boys kept "sneaking" behind me to leave little notes on my desk. It melted my heart and definitely brought a smile to my face. I'm thankful that even though I may not have been in a great mood all week or been the most patient teacher my little students love me and like that I'm their teacher.

A New {School} Year -- Time to get my act together!

Just starting the 4th week of school. Still don't think I've found my groove. Last year the groove came easily. This year not so much. It's not that I'm not familiar with the material. It's more that the group of kiddos this year is a little tougher. And I'm just plain old tired. As I write that last sentence I'm immediately reminded that I need to start eating better and exercising. I know that combination will make a huge difference on my energy level while at work.

Now that I've come to this realization I'm ready to make a change. I need to plan out meals and I need to plan weekly workouts.
*It's time to get my act together.
*It's time to feel better about myself again.
*It's time to have more energy.
*It's time to be the best teacher I can be.

Feeling sluggish does not help me to be a good teacher. And that's just not going to cut it.

Even If

I've been mulling over what to write about for several weeks now. I've had this idea of writing about how content I've been lately in my singleness. I'd think about it periodically and never get the chance to write it out. I really thought I was feeling content, and then last week I totally lost it one night. It's been a while since I've cried over being single, but for some reason it hit me hard last week.

Even now, I'm not sure what to write.

I was listening to a sermon on singleness recently and was reminded by the pastor that some people have been created to be single. It's not that anything is wrong with them (which I sometimes wonder about myself--a lie I have to not listen to) it is just what the Lord has planned for those people. And sometimes I wonder if I'm one of those people. That is a hard thing for me to swallow. I've always just assumed I'd get married and have kids.

I've been praying a lot about this. Praying that my heart would be ok with whatever God has planned for my life. The most recent Mercy Me song "Even If" has really helped me as I've been working through this.

I know You're able and I know You canSave through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone 

They say it only takes a little faith
To move a mountain
Well good thing
A little faith is all I have, right now
But God, when You choose
To leave mountains unmovable
Oh give me the strength to be able to sing
It is well with my soul

I tear up just about every time I hear this song, but it's been good.  I need the reminder that God can do anything and that no matter what He chooses to do with my life my hope is in Him. Whether I'm single or married and have children God is on His throne and He is enough.

So as I live day to day and follow the path God has for me I will work at spending quality time in God's Word. I need my focus to be on Him and less on myself. I don't want to become a bitter single woman. I know a few of those and it isn't pretty. I want to be a woman who seeks after God and shows God's love to all around her. I want people to look at me and see Jesus.

Kickin' it with the Cows 5k

Today was a big day!
Today I am checking another thing off of my 40x40!
Today I ran/walked a 5k!

I am so excited that I did this! I've been working for months to meet this goal. I ran about half of the 3.1 miles. 6 months ago I wouldn't have been able to run that much. I'm totally fine with how much I ran. My goal was to finish. I had no idea how long it would take me so I had no goal of a time. I thought it'd take me an hour and it only took me 45 min. So I was pleasantly surprised.

I ran with a good friend and her daughter. She was so kind and stuck with me even though I walked so much. She set goals as we ran and pushed me to keep going. I feel so blessed by her friendship!

Who Me?!

Who is this person?! 

I've never met her before! 

She is running multiple times a week? 

And not running from a monster chasing her...just running? 

Say what?! 

I never dreamt I'd be running as much as I am right now. I hated running the mile in high school. And here I ran (and walked) almost 2 miles last night? Cra-zy! 

I'm so excited to be working toward this goal of running in a 5k! 

And I'm super proud of myself too! 

End of the School Year Thoughts

It doesn't feel like it should be the end of the school year. We only have a week and a half left of school and it just doesn't seem like it to me. Maybe I'm in denial. I'm actually really sad to let my 2nd graders move up to 3rd grade. They have been the sweetest class. But at least I'll have my 1st graders for another year. That is the silver lining. God has been so good to me this year. I love my kiddos. Sure we've had ups and downs, but overall they are such a good group. Between the 2 grades I have 3 sets of siblings which in some cases would cause problems. Not with this group!
What I'm most looking forward once school is out is my parents coming for a month. I'm in desperate need of some family time. I've been missing my family a lot lately. I need a hug from my mom and to curl up next to my dad on the couch watching a movie.

Missing Church

       Missing church again this morning. Last week I was babysitting and I decided to keep the kids home. This morning I woke up with a splitting headache that had symptoms of a migraine. Thankfully after falling back to sleep my head started feeling better. But I opted to stay home in case the symptoms came back. I didn't want to be away from home feeling the way I was feeling this morning.
       As I'm sitting here missing church, and I mean really wishing I were there right now, I'm feeling thankful that I'm missing it. Hah! That sounds funny!
       So funny when one word can have two meanings. Let me try again. I'm thankful that I'm feeling sad to not be there. I love going to church. I love singing the songs, being around the people, and hearing the message.
       Six months ago this was not the case. Six months ago I went to church every week because I had to. I was committed to singing so I was there. I liked singing, but I was getting burned out. I cared about the people which is why I kept going. And during the messages I hardly paid attention. I spent a lot of time during the messages searching for topical verses. One week it was "one anothers." Another week "fear." You get the idea.
       So as I'm missing church today I'm pretty thankful for the church I am attending now. Thankful that God led me to go there and thankful for how He is growing me under the teaching there.

Reupholstered Loveseat

100s of staples + 1 huge blister + multiple straight pin stabbings + almost 10 yards of fabric = a wonderful result! 

I did it! I did it! I did it!

This was at times a very tough project. But I am so excited about the result. The final picture doesn't really do it justice since it was the evening. The new fabric is a charcoal gray. Just have to put new batting in the cushions and then it will be officially done. It saved me so much $ to cover this on my own instead of purchasing a new one. I'm so happy with it! 

The hardest part of reupholstering was getting the cushions covered right. The corners aren't perfect, but I'm ok with them. I already have most of the fabric to reupholster my couch next! Going to wait a few days before I start it. The goal is to have it finished by the end of May. If I'm diligent in working on it I can totally do it! 

Tired = Emotional

For whatever reason Sunday nights are a hard night of sleep for me. Last night was a prime example. I'm pretty tired right now and it is quarter to 7. The problem with being this tired is that I start feeling emotional.
Found out one of my students got saved today...I cried.
My dad helped me finish the song I've been using for scripture memory in my class...I cried.
I posted on facebook about how thankful I am for my sister...I cried.
I looked through old pics of friends and family to find pics of my sister and I and came across a bunch of great memories...I cried.

Don't worry I'm not just sitting here on my couch blubbering. But tears of thankfulness to our great God are definitely filling my eyes right now. God is so good to me!

...and I'm going to bed early tonight.

Condemnation vs. Conviction

       The day I finish this Bible study will be a very sad day for me. I'm not sure that I have ever been as impacted by a Bible study as I have been by this one. I've never had this great desire to deepen my walk with the Lord as I have in the last few weeks. Thankful that the Lord took a hold of my heart the way He did and opened by ears to hear Him calling to me.
       I'm wondering if I can even put into words what I've come away with from today's lesson. This week's section is about the character of God and today's lesson was entitled "Loving." As a child I was told over and over again that God is love. He does not just love. He is love. I've heard and memorized 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 many times I'm sure. Sometimes when you hear a verse so much you become dull to it's meaning. In this passage God gives us a list of what love is and what it isn't. And since God is love it is what He is and isn't. 

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.

       I've highlighted in red what love is and in green what love isn't. I've always thought of these verses and telling me how I should or shouldn't act. And while that is true it is also a reminder of what is truly of God. God is never cause us to feel any of those green highlighted words. He will always move us towards the red words. 

This is all a good point, but it isn't totally what the lesson was about, so let me get back on track. 

       The lesson was really focusing on guilt. Pricilla talked about for a time she really struggled with guilty over poor choices she made in college. While I don't feel like I've made any major, life altering poor choices in my life I have things that I struggle with feeling guilty over. Things that if I tried to explain them to you they would sounds silly and unimportant, but in my head I still feel guilty over them. Things that could go from elementary school all the way to a week ago. I try letting go of them because I know the Lord has forgiven me, but still every once in a while they come back to mind. And at the most random times too. "His {God's} goal is never to bring guilt and condemnation by continually reminding me of my past sins but rather bring healing and obedience by turning my attention to my future with Him."

"Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. Behold I will do something new." Is. 43:18-19

       How often do I dwell on the past when I can be thinking on my future with Christ? Far too often! God isn't looking down on me bringing my sins to mind to condemn me. That is the work of the Enemy. "You will know condemnation because it brings guilt and offer no clear means of relief. On the other hand, the Holy Spirit brings conviction that always provides a road map out and away from a specific sin. His aim is always to lovingly steer us in the direction of His grace." He gives grace and love despite what we have done because to the very core He is love. Isn't that so amazing?! 

"The purpose of the voice of condemnation is to push you away from His presence -- that which is the very source of your victory. The purpose of the voice of conviction is to press you into the face of Christ." -- Bob Sorge

       This last quote really resounded with me tonight. As those thoughts of guilt creep into my mind I need to be aware and think "Is this drawing me closer to Christ? Or is this guilt pushing me away from Him?" Listen to God's voice, it will bring conviction and encouragement...not condemnation and guilt.  

Aahhhh! My brain is so on overload right now! But in a good way. :)  

God is Faithful

Thankful for tangible ways that God reminds me of His faithfulness. Moments of stretching and drawing me closer to Him. Brokenness and joy. Tears and laughter...lots of laughter. God has been so good to me. The mug reminds me of a friend and causes me to pray for her. The bookmark brings me back to a trip to Peru. To friends I most likely will never see again this side of heaven. I may never see them again, but the bookmark reminds me to pray for them wherever they are and whatever they are doing. Though it may have been 10 years ago and I may not even remember their names I do remember the impression they left on me. Their love for the children they worked with and their desire to spread the Gospel. Oh, that I may make an impact on someone else's life like they did on mine. 

Jamie's Cafe

       When you live in a small town and have no coffee shops to study at sometimes you make coffee in the evening, turn on a relaxing pandora station, and pretend to be in a coffee shop while you do your Bible study. :) It was actually really enjoyable! I don't know about you, but when I'm studying the Bible I get distracted very easily. Usually I'm distracted by any mess around me and then all I can think about is how I need to clean. ... Unfortunately my house usually is somewhat messy. I've gotten better, but at the moment I have a project that has taken over my living room. So last night I moved from my comfy chair to my dining room table to do my Bible study. Currently my dining room table is the cleanest part of my house. It really helped me stay focused. It helped to not be surrounded by a mess. It also meant that I could spread out my books and not have to juggle them on my lap. Why didn't I do this sooner? Sometimes I'm a slow learner.
       After the couple weeks of no tv and really focusing on God's Word I'm amazed at how easily I fall back into old habits. I watched a bunch of tv over the weekend, granted I was working on a project while I was watching. But I had to work really hard on Monday and Tuesday to not allow myself to continue that habit. I watched one show last night while I was cooking and eating dinner and then I turned the tv off. It felt good to do that. As long as I stay disciplined with the tv (and internet surfing) I can watch it during the week. I just need to not let it take over my evening.
       I'm still so excited about all that God is teaching me through my Bible study and time in the Word right now. I want my life to be saturated in God's Word! Throughout my life I've been encouraged to do this by various sources (church, school, family, friends), but I've never actually done it. Again...slow learner. It will be exciting to see how God uses me as I continue to grow closer to Him!

Feeling so blessed!

I'm so thankful for the people God has put in my life! Recently I've noticed how surrounded (both local and long distance) I am by people who encourage me in my walk with the Lord. People who share what they are learning and get excited with me over what I am learning. My list of books to read is growing because of recommendations by these friends and I've felt so encouraged lately to dive deeper into Scripture. God is so good!

Another one bites the dust!

I get a lot of emails throughout the day. And most of them I delete right away, but these emails are THE BEST!!! This is the 2nd email I've gotten like this and I have several more to go. But let me tell you there is a happy dance going on right now...well on the inside. :) 

Thank you Lord for helping me get through this long period of debt. Please help me to be diligent as I continue to pay off these student loans. 

Fasting from Sleep {Yes, I Said Sleep}

Anyone else get completely thrown off by the time change yesterday?

       Last night was awful! I could not go to sleep! I'm sure it wasn't just the time change because I was up until close to 2am. Yuck! I was just about the grab my computer and turn on Netflix when I finally fell asleep. I try not to, but sometimes having a tv show on helps me relax so I can fall asleep. Thankfully I didn't have to do that. I took a nap after work because I was just so exhausted. Hoping that doesn't mess up my sleep tonight. I'm seriously considering taking a benedryl tonight to make sure I sleep!
       Not the best way to start the week. Thankfully my kiddos were really good and after lunch when I told them how tired I was they were extra good. I really am so blessed to have these kids in my class. They are a very compassionate group.
       The lack of sleep made my time this morning in the Word and prayer a little...wanting. I did it, but I'm not sure that I even remember anything I read and my prayer consisted of asking the Lord for the strength to make it through the day. And He answered my prayer. I made it through. My students learned new things and got their work done and we had a great discussion during our Bible time in the morning devotion and afternoon Bible lesson.

Anyway, that wasn't why I came on here to write tonight.
SQUIRREL!

       Yesterday's message at church was so good.

       Like I said last week my pastor is going through a series on Lent. Lent not as a tradition or a way to change habits, but to prepare our hearts for Easter and celebrating Jesus' Resurrection. Last week He encouraged us to fast from a form of food for the week. I didn't. Instead I fasted from TV. Probably the best decision I've ever made. As I wrote last night, last week my passion for Christ and His Word really blossomed and I'm so excited to grow closer to Him. Even though Lent isn't meant to be for lifestyle changes I feel like it has opened my eyes to a change that I need to make in my life.

       This week our music pastor taught on fasting from sleep. Literally there was an audible gasp in the room when he said that.

       My initial thought was, you've got to be kidding me! I need sleep! I won't be able to function! {clearly God proved me wrong about that since I didn't sleep much last night and I made it through the day with His help} He didn't stop there. He wasn't meaning that we shouldn't sleep, but we need to take a period of our sleep time to spend praying. Fasting from food and sleep are two things Christ did while He was here on earth in order to spend time alone with the Father. My pastor suggested getting up 30 min earlier and staying up 30 min later to spend time in prayer.
       I tend to write my prayers in a journal in the morning when I have my quiet time and that does not take 30 min. 30 minutes is a long time! I think I spent almost 15 minutes praying before I went to bed last night and it was a sweet time of prayer. I prayed over my fears, my family, friends, people who need the Lord, and praised the Lord for what He is doing in my life. By the end of that time I was in tears just so blessed that the God who created the entire universe would listen to me and hear me. I do not deserve that from Him, but He does anyway.

       I'm looking forward to the time in prayer I'll have tonight. I'm so excited with how God is growing me right now!

No TV...what a blessing!

Words I never dreamed of writing in my planner suddenly appeared there this week! I've always said I watch way too much tv. And then I'd justify how much I watch by saying I just use it as noise while I get work done. Well...sometimes that is true. But more often than not it starts that way and then I sit and watch show after show without getting anything else done. 

So, did I survive my week of fasting from tv? 

Yes! I most definitely did! 

       God gave me such an incredible week filled with Him. Instead of walking through the door after work and turning on the tv I turned on a podcast of a sermon. And as I listened I did things around my house and made dinner. Later I spent time reading a book a friend and I started reading together that I was way behind on (because of tv), reading Scripture, praying, working through my Bible study (which I don't usually complete because I run out of time...my own fault), and reading another book I've been reading for fun. 

       I'll be honest in telling you that some evenings it was really hard. If I felt bored I really wanted to watch tv. Instead I turned on Pandora and read or got busy doing something else. I even met my goal of using my treadmill 3 times this week! 

       I had to be careful not to allow my time on the computer to just fill my tv time. Tuesday last week I found myself doing that and made myself stop. 

       I was so blessed by all the Lord taught me over the week. My focus on Him became so strong and I feel like I love spending time with Him even more. 

       This new week is going to look a little different. This morning in church we were challenged to fast in a different way as a church body so I'm going to do that which I'll post about tomorrow. But I really want to make a long term change in how I spend my time. This week I plan on saving tv time for the weekend and along with that I'm not going to allow myself to binge watch a show. An episode or two and then do something I need to do. I want to continue feeling this joy I have over spending time with the Lord! 

Expect to Hear His Voice

Oh wow! God's timing is amazing...surprise surprise {sarcasm}

Yesterday was a struggle for me. Was having anxiety over something that I've been struggling with for...a long time. I was mad at myself and questioning why God is having me go through this. Not going to get into the details right now, sorry.

But anyway, last night I started a new Bible study at a woman's home whom my mom grew up with and I now go to church with. I went to that study hoping it would be a good one for me, but not knowing anything about it other than it was by Pricilla Shirer. Also went in hopes of asking my host if we could get together sometime to talk about the thing I'm struggling with.

The initial video was good and I left feeling that this would be a good study and I now have the number of my host so we can plan a time to get together.

All good.

Little did I know how God was going to touch my life just on day 1 of the homework for this study. He knew all along that this would be the perfect time for me to hear this.

The study is called "Discerning the Voice of God."
Week 1: Anticipating the Voice of God
Day 1: Expect to hear it

"When the circumstances of life seem to be closing in on us and we see no end in sight, we want to know how long we will have to continue calling out to God with seemingly no response. We also want to know why He would continue to allow the circumstances we face"

Yeah, that is exactly how I was feeling yesterday afternoon.
The lesson talks about Habakkuk and how he cried out to the Lord and then later the confidence he had in what the Lord was doing.

"While Habakkuk waited on god to answer, God was already answering...even though the prophet wasn't seeing God respond in the way and timing he expected, God was speaking and moving. He always is--even in His silence."

I was to make a list of circumstances that are troubling me currently and then take deliberate time this week to see God's handiwork in each of them.

"If we come to Him doubting His ability to speak, we will have a difficult time listening. So we must come expectantly" -- Charles Stanley

I'm not sure yet what God is doing through this situation I'm going through right now, but I need to remember that He is always speaking and moving and I need to trust Him even when I can't see the process. I need to put aside my doubts that things will ever change and listen.

Fasting for a Week

I've decided that I need to write on here every Sunday. If nothing else than to recap on what I learned in Church in the morning. So often I go to church, take notes, and forget what I've learned within a few hours. That's not good. It's good to have someone ask me what the sermon was about, but I don't always have that. So I'm going to write about it to keep the message fresh on my mind.

This morning my pastor talked about Lent and fasting. He asked the congregation to raise their hands if they have ever practiced Lent. About half of the people raised their hands. I didn't grow up practicing Lent. I honestly didn't know anything about it. And when I did finally learn about it in high school or college (not sure when) I just thought it was something Catholics practiced. Maybe it is more prominent in the Catholic church, but that doesn't mean it isn't something I could do. If I understand correctly essentially Lent in fasting. It is giving up something to focus on something of greater value. And what is the thing of greatest value we should be focusing on? Christ! It is so easy to let things take the place of Christ in our lives.
I know I could spend more time focusing on prayer, Scripture, and time with Christ. The problem I have is that I get home from work and turn on my tv. I even sit watching tv thinking about how I should be reading my Bible instead or listening to a sermon or something. And yet there I sit with my eyes on the tv.
Can you see where this is going?
Yes, I need to turn off my tv for a period of time.
And instead of watching tv I'm going to fill that time with things that will help me grow in my walk with the Lord.

• Listen to sermons on podcasts
• Dig deep into Scripture
• Continue reading the Christian living book I started a long time ago
• Complete my Bible study homework for the week
• Spend time in prayer

Doesn't that sound good?! It actually really sounds good to me. The thing that makes me nervous is that I'm notorious for getting excited about something like this and then after a day or so it fizzles out and I give up. But I totally feel convicted about doing this. 

So...starting first thing tomorrow I will not be watching tv until the following Monday. Not even the news in the morning. I look forward to reporting on how it goes. But I especially look forward to seeing what God has for me to learn through this experience. 

Debt

It's been a while since I've posted anything. Life has been busy! And even now I'm not sure what I should write about.

So let's be real here. I may be feeling too tired and emotional to be writing right now.
What am I doing right now? I'm sitting watching tv trying to figure out how to make more money. I'm so tired of being in debt. I may not think about it all the time, but it is like I'm dragging around this heavy weight on my back and it doesn't feel like it is getting any lighter. Yes, I'm plugging away at it, but it is a little discouraging at times.

What am I supposed to do? I'm not good at selling things. I tried selling Tastefully Simple and it didn't go well. I'm not a good enough writer to blog and make money. I would be way too self-conscious to have a youtube channel. I'm crafty, but not original enough to sell stuff on etsy. Looked into teaching driver's ed, but I think more would go into it than I have the time or resources to do it.

Blech...

...Ok, now that I've slept and am feeling rested let me continue on a better note.
Looked over my student loans last night. 2 of them are within reach of paying off probably within the next 6 months if I work hard at saving. And I didn't realize that I now have 2 that are completely paid off!! yay! The remaining loans are big ones so they will take longer, but once the little ones are done I'll be able to pay more off of the big ones.

I wish it could be something that happens quickly, but in reality it will take me a while. With the Lord's help I know I can do it!

Looking forward to the day when I am debt free!! 

Whole30--almost done!

Almost done with my 30 days of the Whole30! It's been going very well! I've "cheated" in a few areas, but not so much that I feel like it is making a difference. I CANNOT find bacon without sugar in it!! So I finally caved last week and bought some that lists sugar, but it isn't in the nutritional facts. So I'm taking that to mean that there isn't much. Fried eggs and bacon are my favorite breakfast on mornings that I work. I had one meal that was not Whole30 approved because I was invited over to a friend's house. It was pizza...I love pizza. And I only had a couple slices. And I totally felt like I had a rock in my stomach later. I've tried out some fantastic recipes this time through. Still completely loving the cookbook I bought.
I plan on taking a short break from the Whole30 when I'm done and then start right back up again. I'll probably start up after Valentine's day. hehehe...in case I get some good chocolate from my students. :)

He's Still Workin' on Me

       I'm not sure if it was in a choir or a special song with my family, but this morning I'm reminded of a song that I feel hits close to home right now in my life. 

"He's still working on me
To make me what I need to be
It took him just a week to make the moon and stars
The sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars
How loving and patient He must be
'Cause He's still workin' on me"

       I'm so glad that the Lord is so patient and loving with me. So many things that I fear and struggle with I know are ridiculous but God is patiently growing me to who He wants me to be. Just this week I've noticed how I've grown in the last few years. Last night at a basketball game I went out and shot a free throw during half time. (People put names in a hat when they buy things from the snack bar and during half time those names get drawn and they can win things from the snack bar) Since I moved here every game I've gone to I've left the gym during half time due to fear of my name being drawn. Last night I didn't run away. I walked out there, took my shot, missed, and walked off the court not feeling embarrassed at all. 
       I realize this might not feel like a big deal to many people, but to me it is. I was kinda proud of myself. 
       I've noticed recently that I've grown a lot in my confidence. I'm worrying less about what others think and because of that life is much more enjoyable. Don't get me wrong there are still moments of feeling self-conscious. I'm just saying it isn't happening all the time. 
       In my growing self-confidence I'm growing louder. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not. A few people have teased me recently about how loud I am. It didn't upset me or anything, just made me think. When I lived in California I was loud and social, but only with certain people. Since moving to Wisconsin it happens a lot more often. 
       Now, if only I'd feel less nervous around single guys my age. But if God has gotten me this far I know He'll get me there too. He's still workin' on me! 

Whole30 Update

      Well, I've been back on the Whole30 for a week and a half now and it is going SO well! This time around I've been cooking more than the other two times I went through my 30 days. I absolutely love the cookbook I purchased! The recipes are simple to do so far and all of them have been very tasty.

So far I've tried:

• Chicken Meatballs
• Roasted Red Pepper Sauce
• Greek Salad
• Roasted Spaghetti Squash
• Stuffed Bell Peppers
• Kitchen Sink Scramble

       The great thing is that each of these have made fantastic left-overs. The roasted red pepper sauce was good with the meatballs, backed potatoes, and scrambled or fried eggs. It was A-Mazing! I'm thinking I need to make it again soon. I wonder if I could freeze small amounts of it so that I have it on hand for longer. The recipe says it only keeps for 5 days. 

       Last night I made the stuffed bell peppers and used extra stuffing in my scrambled eggs this morning. The seasoning on the stuffing was really flavorful and added so much to my breakfast. 

       I'm going to make the meatballs again and double the recipe so I can freeze a batch of them for busy weeks when I don't have as much time to cook. 

       I don't think of myself as a great cook and honestly I think my biggest problem is laziness. I get home from work and just want something quick and easy so I can sit and relax. But this cookbook has gotten me excited about cooking and I'm loving the results of these recipes! 

       Coming up in the next week are pulled pork carnitas and grilled coconut curry chicken with cauliflower rice. If the cauliflower rice goes well I'm thinking it will become something I make often. It could go with a lot of meals! 

Whole30 Take 3

This weekend I'm starting my Whole30 eating plan. I've completed this eating plan once for 30 days and another time for around 15 days. The shorter one is because I caught a stomach bug and it just didn't happen after that. I was lucky to eat anything. 

Anyway...

I'm super excited to start eating healthy again. I bought this cookbook over Christmas break and I'm chomping at the bit to start it up! I have to wait until I can get to the right grocery store. My local grocery store is quite small and doesn't offer everything I need to get the ball rolling on my Whole30. I was planning out a few meals from this book last night and my stomach was growling. They looks so delicious! I'm excited to eat better and feel better as a result! Here's to making 2017 my healthiest year yet! 

Looking Back & Looking Forward

       2016 was an interesting year for me.  It ended with a bang with the birth of my new niece Bryndall, but other than that it was pretty uneventful. Is it weird that before Bryndall was born the highlight of my year was that my parents and I got my garage cleaned out so I could park my car in it?

       It was a year of change for me. Friends got married and moved away, I began to grow less satisfied with my church, grandma's dementia grew more severe, small friendships grew into bigger ones, I paid off one of my student loans, and I turned off my cable. Ha! That last one is a silly one, but I'm saving a bunch of money so it makes me happy and not having cable is a change.
       I honestly feel so blah about 2016 which makes me feel blah about 2017. I really think that the blah's are a result of my walk with the Lord. I've struggled at being consistent in my prayer life and personal study of God's Word. But not only that, I've spent a majority of the year in a church where I'm not consistently being fed. As of this week those things are going to change. I'm working at making my daily walk with the Lord more consistent and Sunday I'm going to start attending a new church in hopes of making that my new church home. I've been praying for a loooong time about going to this church, actually a new church in general, and I feel the most peace about going to this one. But I'll also be praying throughout the month to see if the Lord does want me to attend there.
       I'm ready to push myself out of these blahs. I'm ready to make 2017 great. It's time! I'm excited about the goals I've been thinking about for this new year. I try not to make too many goals for the year and I'm trying to make them realistic so that they are achievable.

• Read 25 books - I barely met my goal of 20 books for 2016. So adding 5 more books is a stretch, but I'm going to go for it! 
• Pay off a good chunk of my student loans. I've found ways to save money in some areas so I'm going to put that saved money toward my loans. Dave Ramsey, I'm going to snowball them!! 
• Eat right - My biggest enemy right now is my scale. I'm refusing to use it anymore. Instead I'm going to eat better and follow the Whole30 eating plan for longer periods of time and take care of my body. 
• Get moving - I have no excuse in this area. I own a treadmill. I need to use it! 
• Cross 2 things off my 40x40 list! - I have a ways to go on my list, it's time to get going! :) 

Ready or not, 2017, here I come!