Am I being faithful?

Am I being faithful?

Moses and Jeremiah are two examples of men whom God called to do great things and they claimed they weren't good enough. How often do I claim that in regards to myself?

Um, yeah, a lot.

I let fear and thoughts of lack of ability get in the way of sharing the gospel. The author of my devotional book reminded me today how wrong I am.

"It's not a question of who we are and our abilities; it's a question of the Lord's presence. God's abiding presence helps us overcome obstacles to our mission." (The Gospel Project: Chronological; Volume 5) 

What is our mission?

Matthew 28:19-20
"Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."

So here I am. I know the command God has given to me. I know that His presence is with me. But still I am so afraid of failing. I'm afraid of being laughed at, ignored, rejected, and thought poorly of. Notice something wrong with that sentence? I'll give you a hint: it's the pronoun.

I.

That's the problem. I've made it all about me. It's not me they are rejecting and laughing at. Here I am focusing on myself when it is not all about me. Again my devotional shows me how goofy my fears are about sharing the gospel.

"Success in God's eyes is measured less by results and more by faithfulness. When we are faithful to say what God has called us to say to whom God has called us to say it, then the mission is successful. We have been faithful to the Lord." (The Gospel Project: Chronological; Volume 5) 

So I as myself again...

Am I being faithful?

Getting Back into the Word

Such a blessing to dive into God's Word this morning. I've been struggling in my time in the Word. Struggling as in I've not been reading it. It's been terrible.

But today is a new day.

I loved the reminder my devotional book had for me this morning.

God created me intentionally. My gifts, talents, quirks, fears, short-comings, and faults are all part of how God planned me. It isn't that He wants me to have these fears or faults and be miserable, but I have them for a reason. He wants me to rely on Him. It is all to bring Him glory!

Picture Day

Earlier in the school year I missed picture day, so a few weeks ago I had to do picture retakes. It is probably my least favorite day of the school year. I don't usually like how I look in school pictures. I always feel like I look more overweight than I feel. This year the photographer was sweet and let me look at my pic and retake it when I told her I didn't like my double chin. So I "turtled it" per her recommendation. Embarrassing, but effective. Still didn't love the picture, but it was better than the first try. 

I really struggle with my body image. Not all the time, but a lot of the time. I've recently become more imaginative and brave in my clothing choices which is helping with my confidence. But I still feel like I am so overweight.  And instead of being motivated to do something about it I'm sitting on my couch watching tv. I'm my own worst enemy. 

But I do have to say I've come a long way. I came across the picture on the left the other day and was shocked. It was from a family photoshoot about 5 years ago. At the time I didn't realize how much weight I had put on. It wasn't long after that that I worked really hard at getting my eating under control. The picture on the right is from within the last few months. 

I think I need to look at these pictures side by side every once in a while to remember how I looked before. 

Look for the Good

This has been a rough week. I feel like I've been on an emotional roller coaster over the last 5 days. I've laughed, cried, snapped, apologized, cried more, and laughed more. All of that and not necessarily in that order. Then along with all of that come the feelings of insecurity, guilt, loneliness, and people pleasing (which really relates to the insecurity). My house needs to be cleaned and here I am laying on my couch in my pjs watching Project Runway.
Good thing tomorrow is Friday. I'm exhausted! I'm so ready to have next week off of work!

As I'm writing I'm reminded to look for good in every day.

• I was super close reading my 10K steps today! 
• Grandma is moved to a new room with the attention she needs in the stage of dementia she is in. 
• I was able to laugh and share some great stories of Carol McCleod with a coworker today. 
• My students are quickly and easily learning their new Bible verses! So thankful that the Lord directed me to teach our memory verses through songs. 

Sometimes you just need to stop and look for the good. God is good! 

In Memory of My Grandpa

Yesterday marks 2 years that the Lord called my Grandpa to be home in heaven with Him. I have such mixed feelings of my grandpa being gone. On one hand I miss him terribly and wish he were here to say "Goodnight Sweetie" to me every night and watch The Andy Griffith Show with. But on the other hand I know that in heaven he is having a wonderful time. He has a new perfect body and is loving being in the presence of the Lord. 

My grandpa was a really neat guy. Not everyone knew that. He was very quiet. But those who knew him well knew how great he was. He loved is wife and would do anything for her. He loved his children and showed great pride in his grandchildren. He worked hard, and I mean hard, all of his life. He was dedicated to his church. He loved music. And he loved to laugh. It was so fun to see him full on laughing and wiping tears from his eyes. But really even his chuckle and shaking of the head was worth the effort. 

Even to the end of his life those character traits showed. He was a wonderful example of what a husband, father, and friend should be like. 

I'm especially missing him right now. He was a die-hard Cubs fan. And he would be so thrilled to see his Cubbies in the World Series tonight. I'd like to think that he is in heaven cheering them on, but in all honesty I think he's enjoying the Lord more than he would his baseball team right now. So, in loving memory of him I will don his favorite Cubs hat this week and cheer on his team! 

I love you, Grandpa, and miss you dearly! 

Go Cubs Go! 

Flight Over Wisconsin!

If I ever say that my life here in Wisconsin is boring then I am a big-old-liar! I've experienced so many things here that I don't think I ever would have done before! Today a cousin of mine took me for a ride in his airplane. IT WAS SO FUN!! I wasn't nervous about flying with him. I was more afraid of it being bumpy and feeling sick. But it wasn't bumpy at all. He even let me fly for a few seconds!! How cool is that?! He tried scaring me a few times with sharp turns (which he warned me about right before each one) but I wasn't scared. He told me after that I am fearless. :) I totally have an adrenaline rush from it! I saw my house, church, school, several homes of people I know, and the my grandpa's lake! We even went far enough that we could see Lake Michigan.
The fall leaves looked incredible from the sky! That was the main reason I asked him if I could go with him. And I wasn't disappointed! I'm so glad that God allows us experiences like that to see His amazing creation! God's love for me is so great! 

So...Much...Fun!!!

 

Ouch That Hurt

Seriously, people.
Be careful what words come out of your mouth!
Words can hurt.
Words can sting.
Words can stay with you for a looooonnnnngggg time.

Just 1 sentence out of your mouth can make or break someone's day.

Clearly this happened to me recently.

There are people like me who overthink the words that come out of my mouth and others who don't think at all about what comes out. There has to be a balance.

But unfortunately there will always be people whose words just eat at you. Regretfully I've been the one to sting another with my words before. And I hate how I feel afterwards.

The hard thing is that there are some people who just don't know how their words make people feel. They have no clue.

What do you do? How do you respond? Do the words roll off your back? Do you confront them or just walk away?

I pray.
Ask a friend to pray.
And find something to do to distract me from the sting of the words.

40x40 - Cubs' game CHECK!

It just occurred to me that I can cross something off my 40x40 list!! 

This summer I went to a Cubs game! It was such a fun game! Of course I was rooting for my SF Giants. But I also was thinking so much of my Grandpa while I was there. He would have loved that I had been to that game. He LOVED the Cubbies! A good friend of mine got of free tickets to the game so we had a fun weekend in Chicago right before school started.

Bring on the Chapstick!

It's beginning to be that time of year again.
The time of year when I have a chapstick everywhere. My purse, desk, bathroom, nightstand, and pocket of every coat I could possibly wear. I should buy stock in chapstick. Once it starts getting cool and dry here my lips dry out. Now my problem is that I need to find all of the ones I had last year and put them where I need them. Hmmm...what purse did I use last year?
On a completely different note, I have been feeling so thankful lately. All summer long I feel like I was having a pity party about friends. 2 years ago I moved away from my close friends and over the last year 2 of my closest friends in Wisconsin moved away. And I was really feeling sorry for myself. But you know what, just this week God has been showing me how incredibly blessed I am. I really do have so many friends here. It's different now, because I don't have one super close friend that I hang out with almost all week, but I have friends! A couple friends have been so great and started inviting me to go and do things with their families or even just hang out with them in the evenings. I had that in California, but hadn't had here until now. So thankful for these friendships! God is so good to me!

Baby Quilt #?

Working on a pretty cute quilt if I might say myself! Just have to finish up the binding then it will be ready to send off to a sweet new little baby! I love the color combo on this one! I really do love quilting. I'm not a perfectionist like most quilters. My corners aren't all perfectly lined up. But you have to look pretty close to notice it. AND I'm very proud of myself (!), except for the backing and binding, I used all fabric that I had on hand! Yay! All that collecting of fabric has paid off for this quilt!

Here we go again!

I'm not too thrilled with how I've been taking care of my body lately. I've been eating everything and anything. And I feel awful! I'm afraid to step on the scale because I know I've gained at least 5 pounds and I'm afraid it is more than that. I'm trying to be better about using my treadmill at night which is good, but I haven't been consistent yet. I'm ready for a change!
Starting tonight (after I run to the grocery store) I'll be starting my Whole30 diet again. I felt so good when I was following that diet. It definitely takes a lot of time, but it is so worth it!  It's time I felt that good again. My lunch is not following it because I was out of town for the weekend so I still need to get a few things from the store. But once I get to the store there will be no more sugar, no more gluten, no more beans, and no more dairy.
I know I can do this!
NO excuses!

Aunt Jamie

God is so good to me! At times it is hard for me to see my friends with their families. Having a husband and kids is something I had thought I would have by now, but for some reason that is not was God had planned for this season in my life. Instead of having my own kids I've been so blessed to have friends with kids. Their kids have become so dear to me. Just like my niece, they are family to me. Some of them even call me Aunt Jamie. It may be that Aunt Jamie will be the only title I get in my life, and if that is the case I know that God will lead me through that. It's kind of a hard thing to think about. So for now I'm focusing on how thankful I am that the Lord has allowed me the privilege of being a part of these kids lives!

A Letter to the Spider in My Shower

Dear Spider,
Was it really necessary to make your home in my shower? I realize that I have gone for a few days, but the corner of my shower was a very rude place to build your web. I was quite distracted by you while I was trying to wash my hair.
Then on top of that you started to descend from the ceiling?! Really?! Why did you need to do that? I was very sorry to have to grab my Norwex body cloth and squish you. Sorry only because I had to use my nice cloth, not sorry that I killed you.

Sincerely,
Jamie

Painting

 I have been loving painting this year! It really has become a way for me to relax. Honestly, I usually copy something I see on pinterest, but for now that is ok. So far I've kept almost everything I've painted. My new craft room is decorated with my art work. And just a month ago I finally framed a piece of my artwork. About a year ago I painted a horse. It is one of my favorites so far and I found a great frame for it at Michaels craft store. I'm so thankful that the Lord allows us to be creative and enjoy fun projects like painting and being crafty! 

Hide God's Word in Your Heart

When I asked the Lord to help me make time to complete my Bible study lessons for the week I did have in mind sitting in the ER to do it. But that's what happened yesterday. I got a call from Grandma's Assisted Living home and left school early to meet Grandma at the ER. (She's doing ok now. Much better actually.) Not how I had planned out my Monday, but that is what the Lord had for me yesterday. Thankfully I had my Beth Moore study with me and was able to complete 2 days worth of my study. I was reminded of the importance of learning Scripture. I'm always telling my students how important it is to memorize Scripture, but am I practicing what I preach? If I'm honest, not regularly.

"Sometimes we don't know Scripture has taken root in us until we realize, in light of a particular circumstance, it was there, written in our hearts preparing us to navigate the moment. That particular word was alive in us and changed the way we acted or reacted in that impossible situation."

Such a good reminder. In the Beth Moore study I'm in she is suggesting that we memorize the entire book of 2nd Timothy! That seems so hard to me! I'm not sure if I should try to do it?! It seems impossible. Like something I'd give up on after a week of trying. Or I'd get busy and forget about it. On the other hand, the results of memorizing such a large portion of Scripture would be so beneficial. Still not sure what I will do. I just know I need to start memorizing scripture again.

I heart Saturdays!

What a great day! 

Woke up this morning without an alarm clock. And actually slept in till 7! 

Enjoyed my coffee and vegged for a while. 

Baked cookies (from a package, not from scratch...but they were still tastey). 

Started dinner in my crockpot.

Organized a Mother/Son kickball game which completely stressed me out until it started. Then it was fantastic! The kids and their moms had a great time. It is going to become an annual thing for our school. 

Ate lunch and a couple of cookies. 

And now I'm watching a movie and working on special gifts for some friends back home. 

A baby quilt in the works.
I want to get this one done before I work on my new niece's quilt. 

This is my second cutting board gift for a wedding present.
I love how it turned out! Simple yet classy. 

I love Saturdays like this. I'm feeling so relaxed and the sun is shining outside! 

Thank you, Lord, for the blessing of this day! 

(and my crockpot meal is smelling really good right now!) 

A Summer Job Haiku

My Summer Job Haiku

Chainsaws are purring

Tree branches tremble and shake

I sit in the truck

Haha! I thought of that while I sat in the truck today! 

Motivation!

I love my new Irma! 

In the spring I discovered Lularoe clothes. They are super cute, but a tad on the pricy side. I bought a pair of the leggings which are so so comfy and just recently bought an Irma tunic. Wow! I could wear that all the time! And I feel so pretty in it! Unfortunately it's a little too humid to be wearing it right now. I wore it on Saturday and did ok while I went shopping, but later it was too hot to have on anymore.

Ha! This makes it look like I
can't walk in a straight line! 

I really want to buy one of the dresses, but I'm kinda in between sizes right now so I don't want to take the chance of getting the wrong size and then there is the cost to consider as well. I have to say though it has caused me to think twice before I buy clothes at other stores. I'll contemplate getting something and then put it back because I'd rather save up for something from Lularoe. So I'm saving up to get a dress sometime this fall. But before I can do that I've told myself that I have to lose a little weight first. None of this in between sizes thing. So, I took some babysitting money I got recently and bought myself a Fitbit. I've been wanting one for a long time. Not a fancy one, just the Fitbit flex. One of the perks of it is that it tracks my exercise. I'm a visual person so seeing how much I walk really encourages me in my exercising. And I love that it tells me when I hit mile markers! When I finished my walk at 2.57 miles the other night I was so excited!! That night I did 3 laps around my usual route and boy was I sweating! It felt so good though! I've lost 3 pound since I got my Fitbit and I'm excited to keep it up!
So between the love of these clothes and the Fitbit I'm hoping this gives me the kick in the pants I need to get in better shape. Next month I'll focus on what I'm eating. Back to the whole30 for me. I took a break this summer because it would be way too hard with my summer job.
Here's to going down a dress size (I can totally do this!)!

Keeping God as the true King

       As I said in my last post, one of the perks of my job is that I have time to sit and read while I'm waiting in the truck for the phone to ring or to head to the next job. Some days I feel guilty about that and other days I remember that that was why I was hired and it is a blessing from the Lord. I've been able to have some great times in Scripture and for that I am extremely thankful. A few weeks ago I finished the Gospel Project study guide that I had been going through and it took me a while to order then next one. Technically it is meant to use with a group, but I do it on my own and I don't really follow the schedule they print in the book. Anyway, I finally got around the ordering the summer study guide (I ordered the fall one too so I'm ready when I finish this one) and it came in the mail this week. 

       Can I just tell you, God's timing is amazing! The first lesson was something I needed to read today. It applied to multiple things I was dealing throughout the week. It jumped right in to 1 Samuel 8 when Israel is demanding to have a king. The elders went to Samuel told him that they wanted a king just like other nations. Samuel didn't hold anything back and told them that is was not going to go the way they wanted it to and Israel still said they wanted a king. 

       Now, I could read this and just gloss over it saying Israel come on that was a stupid decision. I wouldn't have done that! They had God as their King and chose to give someone else that job. I would never do that! 

       Then I was asked the questions: "What are some things that make you feel secure? What are the signs that we are trusting in these things for our security and not in God alone?"

       Oh boy, once I read those questions multiple insecurities came flooding to my mind from this week alone. The day I cried to my mom over the phone about not making enough money. When in reality my bills are getting paid. Or when I was struggling with loneliness while at an event with a bunch of people. I am no better than Israel. 

       "Every life has a "king." A king in your life is whatever you must have in order to be happy and secure. And kings make all of their subjects into servants...You are either submitted to Someone who brings life--God--or you are enslaved to something that brings death."

       "When people who have been redeemed by Christ look to things in this world for protection, security, and validation, they start to look like everyone else. Forgetting their identity and the love that comes from a restored relationship with God, they become bound to a "king" they think will satisfy them. This is not what God intended for His people. This is not what He intends for you. He wants you to know the love and assurance that comes from knowing Christ. He doesn't want you to obsess over things in this world that hold only empty promises."

       I really needed that kick this weekend to get my focus back in the right place and make sure I keep God as my king and not let those other things sneak in there to take His place. 

Summer Job

Well, my summer job is fully underway. This job is totally and completely different than anything I've ever done. I'm a secretary. A secretary who works out of a Dodge Ram. Not every secretary can say that! I answer the phone, write out estimate forms and receipts, make deposits at the bank, shop at Fleet Farm, drive the truck which is usually pulling an aerial lift, rake leaves (sometimes), buy blueberries (when my boss is having a craving) and sit in the truck. Most of the time I'm sitting in the truck. The only way that this relates to teaching is that some of the guys I work with act like junior highers.
There have been some jobs we've been at that I've had nothing to do but sit and wait for the phone to ring. That can get boring. So I've started taking my devotions with me. I've been going through the Gospel Project workbook. I'm totally behind, but still really like it. I've really enjoyed the time doing this at work. Sure there are times when I have to stop to move the truck or answer the phone, but that's ok. Here are a few things that stood out to me today.

"Sometimes we desire to escape difficult circumstances when God desires for us to interpret them and learn from them. God's plan is not just to bring relief but also to bring about growth in His people. Holiness is more important than absence of pain. If holiness truly becomes our greatest desire, then there is even profit from pain because we know God uses our trials to shape and equip us."

"No matter how inadequate we may feel, God sees us and says "Mighty Warriors!"

"The point of the story of Gideon and the fleece is to reveal God's patience with us when we find it hard to trust Him. God is willing to stoop down and reassure us when we are afraid."

"In response to God's grace, we are to answer God's call to service and trust in Him to empower our obedience."

May Goals

I've been feeling inspired by my friend Jen over at The Accidental Domestic. Every month she posts what her goals are for the month and recaps on her goals from the previous month. I have issues following through with my goals, but maybe posting about them monthly will help me keep them fresh in my mind. So here goes nothing!

Health I've been following the Whole30 food plan since April 11th. I've adjusted it some because it is hard to follow it when I at someone else's house. But when I am on my own and can control it I'm following the Whole30. I want to make it through the month of May.

Financial Not long ago I mentioned that I'm saving money for a trip to Europe. Following a budget is something I struggle with big time! I make a budget and follow it for a few weeks and then forget about it (not sure if the forgetting is intentional or not). I want to follow my budget for the entire month. No ifs, ands, or buts.

School Plain and simple I want to be consist in grading papers. I teach 1st and 2nd grade and only have 11 students. It shouldn't take me that long to correct one day's worth of papers. But I save them all to the end of the week to correct which leaves me with a mountain of papers. If I spend 20-30 minutes a day before I leave school I could have almost all (if not all) of it done by Friday.

Home "Exceptional Housekeeper" is a title I could NEVER be given. Baby steps people. This month I'd like to go to bed with no dirty dishes in the sink. Like I said, baby steps. Don't worry I'll be cleaning my house still, but trying to build good cleaning habits.

Me Less tv time. I watch way too much tv. Half the time I'm just searching for something to watch and settle on something I don't really care about. Talk about a waste of time! This month I'm going to take away the channel surfing and only watch the shows I know I want to watch. And in the time I'm not watching tv I have projects to work on, books to read, and tons of music to listen to while I do it!

Happy!

MY MOM IS COMING IN 25 DAYS!!!!! 

I'm just a little excited! Oh the fun we will have! 

Dependence on God

       Last week I started taking a Proverbs31 Online Bible Study. It's on a book called 5 Habits of a Woman Who Doesn't Quit. So far I'm failing because I haven't been keeping up with it. This is an area I struggle with so much. I get myself all pumped about a new Bible study or devotional book and then I get so busy that by the time I get home I'm drained and sit on the couch and veg, ignoring what I should be doing. Just by the title of this study I know I need it...badly. So tonight I've been looking over the blog posts from this first week of the study. This quote really stood out to me. And it reminds me that I really do need to read the chapters in the book because I think I'll really benefit from them.
       I'm thankful that in my life the desperate situations have caused me to turn to God.  I haven't had a lot of huge desperate situations, but I've had a fair share of small ones. I'm not sure if I'm making sense. I feel like you can have a desperate situation that isn't life altering, but still causes you to feel desperate and need help. Something that you realize you can't do on your own, sometimes it makes you panic, you feel hopeless, and so confused about what is going on.
       The problem I have in one desperate situation in particular is that I'll struggle and struggle with it for a period of time, I'll seek the Lord and feel comforted, get my focus on Him and soon after I'll forget about it. And then a few months later it will pop up again. I'll depend on God so much during that time and then I'll go back to doing it my way, depending on myself or flat out ignoring the problem I have.
      Clearly that does not work well.
       I wish ignoring it would make it go away. Life would be so much better. I know, I know, but then I wouldn't be depending on God. Which is what He wants me to do.
       So, the only solution I can come up with is to depend on God. I need to be in His Word continually. I need to be praying regularly about this issue that keeps coming up. I need accountability to get through this. Someone to check to see how I'm doing so that I don't just ignore the issue and hope it doesn't come up again.
       The chorus to one of my favorite worship songs comes to mind. "Lord, I need You. Oh, I need You. Every hour I need You." It's true I really can't make it through this crazy life on my own.

Reading Challenge Update #3

Can it be? Have I really read 8 books so far in 2016?

This week I've been trying to make a point to turn off the tv and read more. It's amazing how you can get sucked into a story and feel like you are there with the characters. Last night I only got a few hours of sleep because I couldn't put Unspoken down. At the moment I'm regretting that as I've practically falling asleep sitting at my desk. 

Anyway, here are books 7 and 8! 

 #7 The Siege of Macindaw, by Jon Flanagan - I've really enjoyed reading the Ranger's Apprentice series. Good adventure books and I really like the characters you follow throughout the series.  Not sure how many books there are, but I'm sure I'll pick up book 7 soon. 

 #8 Unspoken, by Dee Henderson - The O'Malley Series by Dee Henderson is one of my series to read. I'm ready to read them for a second time. This book connects to those a little, but it does not compare. It was a pretty long book and I almost gave up on it multiple times, but I made myself keep reading. About halfway through I was hooked. It took me about 200 pages to really get hooked on the book. I can't believe I made it that far! Once I got to the halfway point I didn't want to put it down. She does such a good job at writing about suspense, but there was way too much leading up to it in this book. After looking at goodreads reviews I can see I'm not the only one to feel this way. Bummer. 

Dreaming Big

       The other day I was randomly looking at my 40x40 list. Every once in a while I look at it and cross off things that I've finished. It was nice to cross off the cookbook I've been working on of my Grandma's recipes. But as I was scrolling through the list I realized how much I have left to do. It's true I have just over 7 years to finish it, but 40 things is a lot! I've only crossed off 16 things. That means I need to do 3.4 things on my list over the next 7 years. So, all that to say, it's time I start figuring out how I'm going to finish up this list. 

       This week I've decided to plan a big trip! My goal is to go on a trip to Europe next summer. I don't know who I'm going with or exactly where I'm going but I'm going to do it. 

       Really I was inspired by my sister. She said they were saving up for a trip and I started asking myself what am I waiting for? I love traveling and never do because I don't have the money. Well, it's time to start saving. And I have a goal in mind and I'm feeling determined! It definitely makes me think twice before I spend money.  

My Dad

 I love that my dad loves leading worship. His joy in music has really made a huge impact on my life. He was the music pastor at my church when I was little, but I don't remember that a whole lot. I do remember him always being involved in the music at my church. He would fill in here and there and play guitar with the worship team. But over the last 5(ish) years it has been so fun to see my dad lead worship in his church. He stepped into the role and I feel that he is doing such a wonderful job. It's true that I'm not living in the same state, but the times I've visited over the last few years I've really loved seeing his commitment to leading others in worship to the Lord. His passion for music and praising the Lord really encourages me in my worship and love for music. I'm so thankful for the godly example of my father. 

Spring Break with Family

I LOVE THIS PICTURE! 

Seriously, my spring break was so fantastic! The best one I can remember. 

I wouldn't trade the time with my family for anything. It's true I spent some time with friends and loved it, but the time with my family was the most precious. 

Anyone who says they have the best family ever is wrong. I have the best family! We are not perfect at all. We have moments of frustration and getting on each other's nerves, but we love each other. Some days are harder to live far away from them, but the distance definitely made the week home extra special. There was laughter, singing, tickling, lunches, kite flying, egg dying, crafting, laughing, Jerry Lewis movies, did I mention laughing? It was such a great time! 

Just trust

Being real with you, this afternoon/evening was a struggle for me. 

Lots of anxiety and over-thinking going on. So here I am vegging on my couch watching DWTS and surfing the net. (Do people still say that? Am I old?) 

I've calmed down some, but still have a certain situation on my mind and I came across this on Lysa Terkurst's Facebook page. 

Sometimes God has to lean in close to my heart full of questions and gently whisper, “You don’t have to have all of the answers, Lysa. You just need to trust.”
Maybe your heart needs that reminder tonight too.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9

Thankful for people willing to be used by God to encourage others and direct them to Him. I needed it tonight.  And thankful that God knows me and knows my heart. He provides what I need to hear when I need to hear it. 

Spring Break with Friends

Last week I was home in CA on my spring break. It was such a wonderful week! I was desperately in need of relaxing and visiting with friends and family. And I returned feeling so renewed and rejuvenated to finish up the school year. 

I'm reminded over and over again how much God has blessed me with good friends. No matter where I have lived God has given me great friends who I can laugh with (lots of laughing), relax with, and grow in my walk with Christ with. It was so wonderful to visit with these dear friends last week. I'm already thinking about my next visit and all the fun we will have! 

Whole30 - Take 2!

It's amazing how you really crave a certain kind of food when you can't eat it.

Like when you are fasting in the morning so you can get blood drawn.
Breakfast is usually a meal you skip, but because you can't have it you want it! I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one like this. Come on, let's see a show of hands.

Glad I don't really look like the Hulk! 

Well, today I'm starting the Whole30 again. I liked the result so much the last time that I'm going for it again. But do you know how much I WANT sugar right now? I'm usually not a huge sugar person, but today I want it so badly. I'm imagining the Hulk ripping through town in that Pepsi or Coke (can't remember which one) commercial. That's kinda how I'm feeling about sugar at the moment.

Look out people!

Pray more, talk less

Having to remind myself today that I need to pray about it (the situation that is bothering me) more than I talk to others about it.
Some frustrating things going on around me. And it is easy to vent to others about it and get myself worked up more and more. But really the one who can help with the problem the most is the Lord.
I need to be on my knees

Reading Challenge Update #2

It's been a while since I've posted. And I've been having fun reading! I'm kinda going half and half between books I'm reading at school and ones I'm reading on my own.

3. What is the Statue of Liberty? by Joan Holub
I read this "bobble-head" book (as my friend Jen so affectionately calls them) to my class last month. I'm always surprised by how engaged my students are with non-fiction books. I don't know why I underestimate them. I had to explain things as I read this book to them. But they really liked it. After each chapter we talked about and wrote down information we learned. These books are so fun. I'm going to read another one with them sometime this year. Probably one about a president.
4. Sparky byBeverly Gherman
I've been wanting to read this book for a while. When I taught in California my favorite field trip was to take my class to the Schulz museum. It was fun to live in the same town where Charles Schulz lived. I love driving around my home town and seeing random Snoopys and Charlie Browns. So all that to say, when this book was available to borrow as a Ebook I jumped at it. I'm pretty sure it is a children's biography, but I don't care. I still liked it.
5. Meet Addy by Connie Rose Porter
I actually had this book set as a kid. Unfortunately I didn't like reading as a kid. How sad is that?! I missed out on a lot of reading as a kid. Anyway, I just finished reading this book to my class. This book brought on some fantastic discussions with my 1st and 2nd graders! Addy is a slave who is planning on running away to go North with her mother. As we read the book my class and I had several talks about slavery and how people were treated, are treated, and should be treated. They wanted to me to continue in the series they liked this book that much. I really hope I can instill in my students a love for reading that I didn't have at their age.
6. Enna Burning by Shannon Hale
This is the book after The Goose Girl. I really liked this one. It took me a while to read this one because my Ebook had expired and I had to wait for a few people to be done with it first. I finally just checked out the actual book at the library. I think I'll look for the next one in the series in the near future.

I'm excited that I've already finished 6 books on my reading challenge for 2016! And I'm already half way through with my next book! Yay for reading!

Looking Up

       This snowman in my yard started melting the other day. It almost hit 40 degrees so everything was melting. I laughed when I saw it. It is looking perfectly up to the sky. 

       Is it possible that a snowman could be an example of how we should be living? It is so easy to be constantly looking all around us when we really need to be looking up. The world influences us in so many ways. I don't know about you, but I get sucked into those influences very easily. 

       Like my snowman we need to look up. Look to Christ. He is the best influence we could ever have. Look up. Watch for His return. 

       Are you eagerly waiting for Christ to return or are you focused on what is around you? 

Whole30: Day 30!

       Woohoo! I did it!! I've made it through 30 days of eating healthy.
       Over the weekend I was majorly craving bread and chocolate. But we all know there are certain times when women crave those things more than usual.
       I'm still not sure how I'm going to continue.
       Do I stay hardcore?
       Do I continue doing the whole30 part time?
       Do I stop altogether?
       I don't think stopping altogether is a good idea. Even though it was hard at times I feel like it has been a good eating plan for me. I know for sure that I'll eat whatever (within reason) when I get invited to someone's house. That was probably the most uncomfortable part. Some people I just declined going to their house for a meal. The others I sat there feeling so guilty that they were worried about finding food for me. It was not a good feeling.
       Maybe the best thing would be to continue while I'm at home with an occasional treat like popcorn, bread, or dessert. And then when I'm out eat what is served within reason. The key is to not overeat the "bad" stuff. I can do it! I know I can!!

The Best Yes: Mondays

       On Sunday mornings my ladies Sunday school class is watching a DVD series on The Best Yes by Lisa Terkurst. I'm really enjoying it. It's a book that I've been wanting to read, but I have a stack of books that I've started recently that I want to finish first. So for now the DVD series will have to do.
Yesterday she talked about how she has reserved her Mondays as her family time. Anything different that comes up on a Monday she says no to. She has made Monday as a priority to her family and opening her home up to friends as well.
       I really liked this idea. I have a tendency to agree to do anything that someone throws my way. Last week was so busy that I was exhausted by the time Friday came around. I hardly did anything with people over the weekend (other than church). I even stayed home alone during the Super Bowl! I had a very introverted weekend. There's nothing wrong with that, but I don't want to make that a habit. I really enjoy being around friends and don't want to miss out on time with friends that will be moving away this summer.
       So I've decided that I need to make Monday nights a priority to stay at home. I need a "me day." That sounds very selfish when I say it, but I don't think I'll make it if I'm not home at least one night a week. I'll lose my mind!
       I'm going to spend my Monday evenings making sure my house is picked up and working on craft projects. I'm the queen of starting projects and not finishing them. A while back I opened up an Etsy shop to sell some of my art/craft projects. It would be a good way to make a little extra cash and I find crafting relaxing. So I'm making a list of projects I can work on and I'm going to get my Etsy shop open by the end of the month. If I work on something every Monday then I should be able to keep my Etsy shop full of things to sell.

40x40 - Snowmobiling!

       I'm crossing another thing off of my 40x40 list! I went snowmobiling today! I was nervous and totally a chicken about how fast I went, but it was SO MUCH FUN!! My co-worker's husband, who is a distant cousin, took me this afternoon. He knew it was something on my bucket list and wanted to make sure I got to do it. He even got up early to clear the trails for me and got new licenses for the snowmobiles so that we could go on the state trails. So sweet! I only got stuck briefly but got out by myself. I know it may not seem like a big deal to most people, but I get really excited when I try something new. Especially if it is something that scares me. 5+ years ago I never would have dreamed of trying this! It was such a beautiful day. The trees were filled with snow and part of the trail was a canopy of trees. 

       So since moving to Wisconsin I want to purchase a kayak, a small camper (to have by the lake), and a snowmobile. I need to find a rich person who will add me to their will. 

Whole30: Day 27

I'm on the homestretch!

       The struggle I'm having at the moment is that it has been a busy week. And with a busy week I don't have as much time to cook. I've been eating ok, but not cooking as much as I was earlier in my 30 days. I came so close to cheating a couple of times, but resisted. There is birthday cake and chocolate fondue in the teacher's lounge today. :( I took a bowl of the fruit and left the room as quickly as I could.

       Once my 30 days is up I'm going to have to work really hard at making good choices when it comes to food. It could be so easy for me to just go back to my old habits. I have to remember how good I am feeling eating the right things.

       As of last weekend I've lost a total of 13 pounds. We'll see what the scale says tomorrow! 2 more pounds would be so encouraging. I'm definitely seeing a difference in my clothes.

       I think tonight I'll make fajitas and wrap them in lettuce. I found a fajita mix that didn't have sugar in it. I know I've said it before, but do you know that sugar is in almost everything! Good grief!

Whole30: Day 15

Day 15

       I made it half way! I'm feeling so good too! Yesterday I was doing some shopping and tried on a few tops at JC Penny's and I needed a medium instead of a large! Yay!! More confirmation that this food adventure is going well. I've been too busy to really try anything new in my cooking, but this week I should have some more time. I picked up a spaghetti squash and found a recipe for some meatballs. I'm going to give those a try this week. I'm also going to make my own spaghetti sauce. Do you know that most spaghetti sauces have sugar in them? And a lot of them have some sort of cheese too. That isn't too much of a surprise. So I have the stuff to make my own.
       I also found a recipe for a chocolate chilli. I've been craving chocolate today so when I saw the recipe on pinterest I pinned it right away. I realize that the chilli won't taste like the snickers bar that is waiting for me in my freezer, but it still sounds good. I figure I can freeze some of it too so that it goes a long way. 

       Tonight I added to my goal of working on being healthy. I used my treadmill. My sister made me. ;) I just needed a little push. I have this great app called 5K runner. I've attempted to use it a number of times and never get past the first day.  Who am I kidding. I usually don't get past the first 15 minutes. Well tonight I did it! The full 25 minutes! I was ready to give up at 15, but when I saw I only had 10 minutes left I told myself I could do it. And I did! It would be pretty awesome if I continued using my treadmill and could run in a 5K this summer. I really want to accomplish that. Pretty sure it's on my 40x40 list too. 

Reading Challenge Update #1

2. Ramona Quimby, Age 8, by Beverly Cleary. I find it funny that the cover of this book has Ramona riding a bike on it. This happened once in the book, and she never got her own bike. I really like Beverly Cleary books. Ramona, Beezus, Henry, Ribsy, Ralph S. Mouse. They're all so fun. My class really liked this one. I love when I tell them I'm going to read for a few minutes and I hear several kids say "Yes!" If I could get away with reading and doing art projects all day long with my class I totally could, but I don't think my administrator or the parents would appreciate that. :) I love my job!

Whole30: Day 12

Day 12
I'm almost half way through my 30 days! I can totally do this! The hardest time for me is the evenings when I feel like munching. Lara bars have been helpful.

Today's Menu:
Breakfast: 2 fried eggs with hot sauce and coffee
Lunch: Hot lunch at school today was tacos so I made mine into a salad. It was tasty.
Dinner: Chicken, spaghetti sauce, and broccoli
Snack: banana, V8 fusion (Not sure if I'm really supposed to have this. There are way too many names for sugar. I get confused)

How I'm feeling:
Well, I wondered how that soda would affect me yesterday and I figured it out. I drank it at lunch and by 3:00 I was so sleepy. It took me a minute to figure out why. Then it hit me. The Sprite! And then I realized that since I started my "food adventure" I haven't been as sleepy as I usually am. That is huge! For a long time when someone asked me how I was I always wanted to answer tired. I knew there was something wrong, but I just thought I wasn't getting enough sleep. I've been this way for years. I'm definitely starting to see how what I fill my body with affects me. And I'm really glad for that.

On a side note, today I bought my tickets to go home for my Spring Break in March! I am SO EXCITED!!! I miss my family and friends back home so much. I'll be home for a week, and that doesn't include my travel days. Woohoo!! Happy dance!

Whole30: Day 11

       Oops, it's been a while! I can't believe I didn't write anything on Saturday. I weighed in on Saturday. Guess what?! I lost 10 pounds! Woohoo! What a start!
       No I'm not expecting to lose that much every week. But clearly eating this way has made a difference. I had a few days of craving sugar and bread. And I miss having my simple go to's for snacks. I need to cut up some more veggies and use the olive dip I bought. That will help. I did discover that I can have a burrito bowl from Qdoba. That was exciting! They have excellent fajita veggies and I just asked for extra. Yum! I'm sure you could do the same thing at Chipotle. Fast food and the Whole30 don't go so well together.
       I have to admit it though. Today I'm going to cheat. I'm going to drink a Sprite with my lunch today. Not because I'm missing Sprite or anything. I'm a teacher and I held a garbage can for a student throwing up this morning. I don't think I'm sick, but my stomach just feels funny. I think the Sprite will help. I wonder if I'll notice how the sugar makes me feel after 11 days of no sugar.

Reading Challenge 2016

 I did it! I finished my first book for my reading challenge of 2016! It's true I started this book in 2015, but who cares. One book down, 19 to go! I have multiple books I've already started so I'll pick up one of those next. I'm the queen of starting books and not finishing them. 

1. The Amazing Mrs. Pollifax, by Dorothy Gilman was a fun book. It is the second Mrs. Pollifax book that Gilman wrote. Emily Pollifax is a retired woman from New Jersey who ends up working for the CIA. She has fun adventures and goes everywhere wearing a big flowered hat. I really like these books.

Oh the Possibilities of 2016

Found myself day dreaming this morning about 2016.
       Before moving to Wisconsin when I'd think about the year ahead it was pretty predictable. Sure things would come up to change the norm, but all in all it was predictable. I'm not sure if that is a good or bad thing. In one sense I really liked it because like most people I'm not a huge fan of change. But on the other hand it wasn't so good because I would get comfortable and just enjoy my time in my bubble.
       Since my move in 2014 I feel like everything down the road is up in the air and could change at the drop of a hat. And honestly the 2014-15 school year was pretty much like that. Nothing happened like I thought it was going to happen. Now I have NO idea of what 2016 will look like.
       I'm actually looking forward to the end of it so I can look back and see how God orchestrated it all. There are just so many unknowns right now.

• I'm not sure how things are going to go with my job after this school year is over. 
• Since moving here God has provided me with two great friends who've encouraged me so much. In October one moved 2 hours away and the other friend will probably move away this summer. So I'm not sure what my friendships will look like by the end of the year. 
• My church is looking for a new pastor right now. I've really struggled with the person who has stepped into leadership while we've been looking for a new pastor. I do think his heart is in the right place. He wants our church to grow and prosper, but he has legalistic tendencies and often says things that I don't agree with. And he is leading the pastor search so that makes me nervous about the pastor that will come in next. Will I agree with him? Will he be legalistic? Will I need to find a new church? 

See what I mean? A year of unknowns.
As I was day dreaming/worrying about all of this this morning I was reminded of the Psalm we went over in prayer group this week.

Psalm 16
Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge.
I say to the Lord, "You are my Lord;
I have no good apart from you."
As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones,
in whom is all my delight.
The sorrows on those who run after another god shall multiply;
their drink offerings of blood I will not pour out
or take their names on my lips.
The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup;
you hold my lot.
The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.
I bless the Lord who gives me counsel;
in the night also my heart instructs me.
I have set the Lord always before me;
because He is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;
my flesh also dwells secure.
For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption.
You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. 

       I could sit around and imagine the possibilities of 2016, but that's all they are possibilities. Instead I need to lean on the only one who has everything in His hand. He will preserve me. He will keep me safe. I only need to trust Him. I really like verses 8-9.
"I have set the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure."
       He is always with me. I have confidence that God will always be at my right hand to hold me secure no matter what comes my way.

Whole30: Day 5

Day 5
Today was torture!!! Hot lunch at school today was Papa Murphy's pizza. It's my favorite. And the school kitchen is right under my classroom. It smelled amazing. But I was good. I ate what I brought with me.

What's on the menu:
Breakfast: sausage and scrambled eggs
Lunch: leftover brussel sprouts, broccoli, and ground beef
Dinner: roasted sweet potatoes, sausage with onions and green peppers
Snack: apple, banana, almonds

How I'm feeling:
I've been feeling pretty good today. My self-control when it comes to food is better than I thought! The pizza...oh the pizza was a struggle today. I was craving bread today like I've never craved bread before! The struggle is real people. :)
Now I need to get my water drinking habits up to par.

Whole30: Day 4

Day 4

Well, I'm still alive! So far so good.

What's on the menu: 
Breakfast: coffee and banana
Lunch: chicken salad with balsamic, peach cup, hot tea
Dinner: baked red potato, broccoli, and cauliflower

How I'm feeling:
       Lunch was filling. Dinner was not. So right now I'm hungry. I munched a little on some left over roasted brussel sprouts from yesterday. But I'm still feeling munchy. I think I'll just go to bed soon and that will help. Other than being hungry tonight this food adventure has been going really well. I'm cooking more and eating a lot more veggies than I was before. I really love vegetables! I knew I did, I just didn't take the time to cook them. Can we say LAZY?!
       I think this weekend I'll make a big batch of meatballs for next week. I can freeze them and eat them throughout the week with spaghetti sauce and spaghetti squash. That actually sounds really good right now. Wow, I really have the munchies right now!

Whole 30: Day 2

Day 2

What's on the menu:
Breakfast: Coffee with my coconut creamer
Lunch: pulled pork and sweet potato hash
Dinner: beef lettuce wraps (they were SO good!)
Snack: almonds, apple, strawberries
(I couldn't resist the strawberries in the store. And let me tell you, they were very tasty!)

How I'm feeling:
Well, I made the huge mistake of not eating breakfast this morning. So by lunch time I was "starving." It also didn't help that one of my students brought cookies in to school today for her birthday. They looked so good. I really wanted one. But I was good. I resisted.
So tomorrow I'm going to eat breakfast. I promise!

Whole30: Alcohol
Honestly this area isn't a problem for me. I like having an occasional glass of wine, but at my job I signed a contract saying I wouldn't consume alcohol. So no alcohol for me.
Basically, it is on the list of don't's for the Whole30 because it is addictive and because when under the influence of it you are likely to make poor food decisions. It can also mess with your blood sugar levels. The book says more regarding alcohol, but I don't feel like sharing it all. You can read about it if it applies to you. It doesn't really apply to me. So, there you go.

Lettering

I follow Dawn Nicole's Hand Lettering Facebook page and she offers free practice sheets. So I spent a nice relaxing Sunday afternoon playing around with watercolors and lettering. I really would like to get better at hand-lettering so I could make signs and other things worth framing. 

Whole 30: Day 1

This is it! Day 1

What's on the menu:
Sweet potato hash with a fried egg
(I'm going to add sausage to it next time)
Broccoli slaw and beef stir fry

I made my own coffee creamer this morning! It is coconut milk, vanilla extract, and cinnamon. It was pretty good. Not as sweet as the creamer that I'm used to, but I think I could get used to it. I don't want to give up drinking coffee so this is what it will have to be. :)

How I'm feeling:
I'm not really sure if I can say that I feel any different at the moment. It's only day 1. I am happy to say that after my lunch I'm feeling full. That's helpful. I've got to drink more water this afternoon to help me not want to munch as much. But I have a tray of veggies all cut and ready to eat for when I do feel like munching.

Whole30: No Sugar
Those are pretty daunting words. No one wants to cut out sugar.
Chocolate, cookies, candy, vanilla coffee creamer...and the list goes on.
But as I've been reading about the Whole30 I've learned a lot about sugar. Did you know that sugar alters the balance of "good" and "bad" bacteria in your gut? It increases the bad and decreases the good. The result could be gas, fatigue, body aches, headaches, and joint problems.
The chapter on sugar ends with this: "When it comes to less-healthy foods, understand that the less (and less often) you indulge in them, the healthier you'll be. Where you draw that line is totally up to you." (It Starts with Food by Dallas and Melissa Hartwig)

Honestly, I love sugary things, but I'd rather have more of the savory most days. But I'm also weak. If there are brownies in the staff room I don't hesitate to take one...ok maybe two. I'm weak. Will I be able to handle the temptation at work?

1 day down 29 to go!

Whole30 on hold

Well, I came down with the stomach flu this morning. So I won't be starting my food adventure just yet. Saltines and sprite are my current food adventure! Yay me!

Whole30 Prep

I'm continuing to read Its Starts with Food as I get ready to start the Whole30 diet. I skipped a few chapters so that I could get to the nitty gritty of what I can and cannot eat. I'll go back and read them a little later. Friday will be my start date since I'm going grocery shopping on Thursday (weather permitting, there may be a snow storm on Thursday). I'm really liking this book because it isn't just telling me what not to eat. The book explains how the food affects my body.

As I'm reading I'm working on my grocery list so that I can start with a bang and attack this diet full force. Anyone else dislike the word 'diet'? Hmm...what else can I call this? Food adventure. Adventure is a much better word. Yup, I'm going on a food adventure!

I'm also using pinterest for ideas of what to be eating on my first week of my food adventure. A bunch of people have blogged about their weekly menus when doing the Whole30. I'll take any inspiration I can get!

My Shopping List (so far)

• apples
• almond butter
• eggs
• cucumber
• sweet potatoes
• coconut milk
• tazo passion tea
• bell peppers
• broccoli slaw

I realize there is no meat on my list this week. That's because I have some in the freezer already. :) 

I think one of the harder things for me will be when I get the munchies. So I'm going to prep a container of veggies to have in my fridge all the time. I'm also going to look for some sort of dip/tapenade to keep those veggies interesting. 

Whole 30

Ok, here it goes!
Step 1 to working on a healthier year.

I'm excited and nervous about giving this a try. But I weighed myself last night and suffice it to say I need to make a change in how I have eating and taking care of my body. The number I saw was not ok and I'm feeling it in my pants as well. All those sweets at Christmas took their toll.

Like I said in my last post, I'm going to give the Whole 30 a try. I picked up It Starts with Food from the library and started reading it last night. Basically I need to be filling my body with foods that are helpful for me. That sounds good to me. It isn't going to be easy. I'll be cutting out grains, dairy, and sugar. Do you know how much food has grain, dairy, and sugar?! Do you know how much I LOVE breads and cheese?! And don't even get me started on CHOCOLATE!!! So this week I'm reading up on what I need to be eating, and not eating, as well as eating things from my fridge that I won't be able to eat. Yum! I'm going to really savor the lasagna I'm having for dinner tonight. Thursday is my grocery shopping day so starting then I'm going hard core.

30 days.

I can do this.

I'm SO ready to shed some pounds, sleep better, and overall have more energy.

Happy 2016!

     It is so crazy to believe that today is January 1, 2016. Where did 2015 go?!
I don't know about you, but I'm enjoying my New Year's Day on my couch bingeing on season 1 of Psych. After driving to the airport at 5 I think my couch and I are going to stay close for the rest of the day. It's a good opportunity to blog, nap, search pinterest, and nap some more!

     2015 was a busy year that is for sure. I'm excited to see what God has in store for 2016.
As most people do, I have some goals for the year. I try not to make huge goals that I'll have a hard time completing at the end of the year. This year I want to focus of being healthy and reading more.

     My mom and dad are going to try out the Whole 30 diet for a month and I'm feeling challenged to try it as well. It is hard to think about cutting out some of my favorite foods (especially bread!), but I'm going to try it for a month and see how it goes. But all in all I'm wanting 2016 to be a healthy year for me. Eating better and exercising more.

     I'm excited to say (like I did in my last post) I have rediscovered my love for reading! There are so many good books out there. I want to read 20 books this year. It may not seem like a lot to you, but I'm not the fastest reader and I have a tendency to be busy. So 20 books it is! My friend Jen posted this picture on facebook today and I love the idea! What a fun way to pick books throughout the year! It will help me to read a good variety of books throughout the year. I'm starting the year by finish a few books I started a while ago. Right now I'm reading a Mrs. Pollifax book.
I'll keep you posted on my progress!